Clothes shopping for you is a case of camping outside your favourite German supermarket every six months or so. The savings are good but the chance to snark on websites about more expensive stuff is priceless.
You're one rung off the bottom by virtue of realising that sometimes paying a bit more gets you a lot more. But you won't be doing it often, and for the most part you're happy rummaging in the hoppers when you go to buy your cut-price cereal.
Sensible clothes for sensible people. Hi-viz and overtrousers have their place, and that's on you, on your commute. Sometimes even in summer. That new racy stuff is nice too, if a bit spendy.
You think Wiggle's own brand gear is cycling's best-kept secret, although it's a secret they seem to be keeping by flogging boatloads of the stuff. Make sure you talk about how the short pad is the same as more expensive brands, cause people really like that.
You like to think you're a bit too cool for own-brand gear, although you're not prepared to throw masses of money after that conviction. So it's decent value Swedish attire for you.
The venerable scorpion is just what you need: quality gear that's not massive bucks. Just make sure you're number's visible on the next sportive or you'll be trawling through about 7,000 identical photographs looking for yourself.
You like to say that people "know the price of everything and the value of nothing" and you're prepared to throw some wedge at kit that's well made and works. Obviously that makes you a smart arse, but at least you'll be a comfy one.
You like to think of yourself as a connoisseur, not swayed by advertising. Luckily brands are lining up to flog you posh gear. You'll choose Cafe du Cycliste because it seems real, and exotic. Because of the advertising they do.
Nothing makes you feel more epic than reading Monochrome Velocipedalist and planning your next trip to the Latvian backwaters where the real challenging climbs are. And they do that nice black race kit now, too.
You simply must have the very best. And by "best", you mean "most expensive". You can afford it, anyway, and your dentist swears by it, so it must be good. Haters gonna hate. You are cycling.